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Thursday, June 30, 2005

Enlisting Young Republicans Comes Up Short

Posted by Frankie at 6/30/2005 12:26:00 AM

Operation Yellow Elephant, a project which is designed to enlist Young / College Republicans who support the war in Iraq is in trouble. As described from their website:

The objective of OPERATION YELLOW ELEPHANT is to recruit College Republicans and Young Republicans to serve as infantry. They demanded this war and now viciously support it. It's only right that they also experience it.

Like our volunteer military recruiting goals, Operation Yellow Elephant is also coming up short. Although the problem is evidently these Republicans have “injuries” which prevent them from enlisting in the military. However, that doesn’t stop asking the Young Republicans over at Gonzaga College in Washington state. Here is the email sent to the group who titled themselves, “The Four Horsemen”:

The Four Horsemen
Spokane Young Republicans

Dear Horsemen,

I think I may have stumbled across a sinister plot to destroy our nation's military effectiveness. It seems that nearly every time I ask a College Republican, a Protest Warrior, or a Young Republican to step up and volunteer to serve in Iraq, I'm told that they can't because they have an injury. Take the fine young Protest Warriors from Pass the Ammo for example. Three of the four have back or shoulder injuries that prevent them from serving. Chad's case is particularly sad. Apparently, he can only run in slow motion while shooting his AR-15.

I'm beginning to think that the French are surreptitiously injuring the backs of service age patriots throughout the country. They're probably using soccer to accomplish this. It's a very seditious, euro-centric game. The communists imported it after they grew tired of waiting for fluoridated water to weaken us. I'm working very hard to have soccer added to the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution's list of things we must destroy.

I need more data to do this. Could you tell me why you remain at home, eating Cheetos in your mother's basements while other's fight the war you so whole-heartedly demanded? Have you injured your backs playing soccer? Do you drink an inordinate amount of fluoridated water?

Please respond soon. We need to get to the bottom of this.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

And part of their lame ass reply:

What about the Republicans in our society who are working in other careers - police officers, firefighters, businessmen and women, contractors, teachers, lawyers, scientists....and so fourth. The issue isn't about the capability of one person - it is about a general need of oneself and as a society it is a common understanding that we want the best people to do the best job.

Republicans are scientists…?

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scientists can suck my dick, BITCH!!!

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous on 1:26 AM  



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